these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
