i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
