my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
