I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
