She's JV to your varsity
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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