I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
