Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
