I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
