i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
