this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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