Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
