Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
