please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
