come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
