great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
