I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
