I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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