Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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