i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
