I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
