So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize