it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
