Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize