they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
