glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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