i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
