wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
