So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
