You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize