I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Drunk is a universal language darling
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
