just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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