I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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