I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
