he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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