Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
