You smell like stripper and shame
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize