I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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