haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
