I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
