You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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