i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
