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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
