Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
