It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
