So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
