i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
