Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
