I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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