she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
