sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
