Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
