if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize