"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize