I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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