she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
