my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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