You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can't turn off my feet"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize