She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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