guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
