guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Randomize
