perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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