you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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